Finding vs. Waiting

The finding vs. waiting topic is a popular one in the world of adoption.  The adoption process is so involved with the mounds of paperwork and interviews and criminal background checks that it is a bit of a shock when all of the paperwork has been approved and there is nothing left to do but sit back and wait to be found.  In recent years many people have taken a more proactive approach to this period of waiting and try to find rather than wait to be found.  There are adoption pass along cards, like a business card but with a photo of your family, a catchy phrase and often a link to a blog.  There is  a seemingly endless list of websites where you can add a link to your adoption profile.  Some people send out announcements to family and friends that they are trying to adopt in hopes that people will let them know if they hear of any opportunities.

During the past few months several people have asked me about our trick for getting picked by birth mothers so quickly.  I am simultaneously amused and offended by this question.  We don't have an arsenal of tricks up our sleeves, We don't have any tricks at all.  This is how it has worked for us so far:

1.  I get a feeling that we need to start the adoption process.
2.  I tell Bryant.
3.  We start the paperwork.
4.  We get approved.
5.  We wait for an undetermined period of time.
6.  Our amazing birth mother finds us.
7.  We have a baby.

That's it.  No tricks.  A bunch of people have remarked that we get picked because we are young and cute, and although the compliment is nice we know they are dead wrong.  We get picked because an amazing woman gets a feeling, a feeling that we are the family meant for the baby she is carrying.  We don't start the process because it seems like a good time, we start it because we know we are supposed too.  And we haven't had to wait very long.  Not because we are special or amazing, but because the babies that are meant to be in our family are being sent to earth at that time.  Their birth mothers follow their promptings, we follow ours, and miracle of all miracles we find each other.

That doesn't mean that we assume we will be found lickity split every time.  Or that just because I get the feeling that we need to start the process means that there is a baby in utero somewhere waiting to come to us.  We just know that as long as we follow the promptings we receive that we can sit back and relax because we've done our part.  And if we start to feel that we need to do something more, we will.

Fortunately for us there are so many people in our lives who do the very same thing.  They get a feeling, have an idea, hear about an adoption opportunity and they immediately call us to let us know.  We appreciate it so much, because getting our children to our family is dependent on people, a whole bunch of people, acting on feelings.

I believe in miracles.  And yes, we are still waiting.